Read this into this —

We have parts of the country going under water while other sections of the U.S. are burning up, literally.
There’s a forest fire every week in Idaho, right?
Meanwhile, towns in Minnesota, Ohio and Oklahoma are being flooded by normally quiet streams and rivers.
Hurricanes are battering coastlines in Mexico and beyond.
The hurricane that threatened Hawaii was named Flossie, one of the nicknames given my mother, Floris, by dad’s side of the family.
Payback, Floris is telling me. She never visited or vacationed in Mexico or Hawaii. If she had, this might not be happening.
The lowlifes in the country are certainly on edge. How else can you account for all the recent robberies in Fargo and Moorhead?
Every Tom, Dick and Harry with a criminal record is knocking off banks and convenience stores these days.
You think it’s bad here. Rolla just hired its third chief of police in six months.
Chaos, everywhere.
Need more proof the end of the world is near?
Reports are flooding in everywhere telling of the exploits of sexy seniors.
Arrests are being made and charges filed every hour on the hour.
Good Lord, if that isn’t enough to fry your bacon.
A federally funded study, conducted by suspected sexually unfulfilled scientists, the crowd of men and women in white coats and headaches 24-7, have determined that the older generation wants what they suspect the younger crowd is getting 24-7.
The report, while getting rave reviews by Sr. Citizens clubs nationwide, is being debunked by the AARP, which admittedly doesn’t know how to handle the flood of sexually explicate e-mails it’s getting.
We’re going to hell in a hand basket, I have to admit.
Soon, we’ll have our courtrooms filled with sexy seniors facing felony charges ranging from “sex outside the nursing home” to “indecent behavior when the relatives are visiting.”
Viagra is reportedly flying off the drugstore shelves.
Family dogs are lapping up the spilled capsules and disappearing for weeks on end.
In the meantime, signs of cancer, diabetes and other health woes are disappearing at an alarming rate. Alarming to the medical profession, which cannot afford the unexplained lapse in business.
Some insist it all boils down to SEX, which has been the root of many of our problems since the beginning of time. Day 1, to be exact. Or, somewhere in that time frame.
Adam and Eve, where are you when we need you?
No sex act is taboo to the sexy seniors surveyed, according to Masters and Johnson, consultants in the study.
IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD, I’m telling you.
But I’ve been telling you this on and off for the last eight years.
And we’re still here.
Only now, we’ve got senior citizens trying to get into jail with the chance at corralling a wild and crazy bunk mate, rivers flooding midwestern homes on high ground and robberies every five minutes.
The sports world has been turned upside down by scandals and the Jet Set is being pushed to the back of newspapers and TV news programs by all the havoc in the world today.
We should be alarmed.
We should be praying.
We should be trading our plane tickets to Hawaii and Mexico for lifejackets and amphibious craft of the large variety.
We should be asking, “Why us?”
You never hear of hurricanes ripping into the Mediterranean coastal cities.
Ever hear of tornadoes tearing through Europe or Russia?
Has Norway ever flooded?
No, the U.S. is being targeted, and I’m not sure why or by whom.
While I suspect it’s a Canadian Conspiracy, I don’t think God has given us the 2-minute warning, not yet anyway, but if this craziness continues, he might have little choice.
It’s either us or the hand basket, but not both.