All right, readers, grab your pen or pencil, here’s your news quiz for the month.

Often boring, seldom entertaining, but nevertheless thought-provoking, the questions this week range from the absurd to the mundane to borderline.

Gas prices are increasing for a reason. Your guess?
A) It’s summertime, what better time to make a killing?
B) The Middle East is sticking it to us.
C) CEOs gotta make a buck, too.
D) The current administration has an investment in gas and oil.

Jordin Sparks was idolized all across America this week and rightfully so. What factors weighed heavily in Jordan’s favor?
A) Her North Dakota connection.
B) She was head and shoulders better than the competition.
C) That girl can flat out sing.
D) How do you spell sweetness? JORDIN.
Blake, Washington’s finest, came in second place in the American Idol voting. It was because?
A) Argyle sweaters can take a guy only so far.
B) His father’s wardrobe didn’t help.
C) The dude isn’t that good a singer.
D) He wasn’t tall enough.

More than 74 million viewers in 35 million homes tuned into American Idol Wednesday night. How can that be?
A) It’s all about Simon.
B) Everyone wanted to see Paula’s broken nose.
C) The TV commercials would rival the Super Bowl’s.
D) It was the only show in town.

This Spring’s weather has been far from spring-like. How come?
A) Blame it on Washington.
B) A stationary jet stream.
C) Global warming.
D) Your guess is as good as mine.

Who’s going to get the Democrat’s presidential nomination in 2008 and why?
A) Hillary — reason: Bill.
B) Barack Obama has youth on his side.
C) John Edwards’ haircut will take him over the top.
D) Al Gore’s stand on Global Warming saves the day.

Reasons why those four will never win.
A) Hillary: Bill.
B) Obama: Too young.
C) Edwards: Too stylish
D) Al: Ice caps will never melt in time.

Poor Paris Hilton is facing 45 days in jail. Has justice done us wrong again?
A) She should spend more time in the slammer.
B) What’s another traffic ticket for the rich and famous?
C) She’s a flight risk at a minimum security prison.
D) She need a cell mate?

The Minnesota Twins’ only hope of winning the American Central Division Title rests on what?
A) Another bat.
B) More pitching.
C) Better execution.
D) All of the above.

Joey Buttafuoco and Amy Fisher are back together again. What next?
A) Everyone in Long Island will kiss and make up.
B) Gun sales will skyrocket.
C) Elizabeth Taylor will find one of her ex’s and tie the knot, provided any are still living.
D) “Richard Burton, where are you?”
Paul Wolfowiz would have kept his job at the World Bank if he had?
A) Stayed in Baghdad.
B) Balanced the books.
C) Denied ever knowing George W.
D) Kept his zipper zipped.